The Dentist Is Your Friend

I know, I know. "Dentists are NOT my friends!" you're probably yelling angrily at the screen. They scratch at your teeth, yank on things rooted in your gums, they force you to fill your mouth with gross flouride and other dental delicacies, poke at your tongue, and sometimes even drill holes in your teeth. More often than not, they're pushing your teeth together by stretching a metal rod across your teeth with rubber bands. And you can't take it off for years. And you need them tightened frequently.

So it's only natural that you should hate going to the dentist. It often hurts and no one likes that nails-on-chalkboard-but-actually-on-my-teeth sound.

However, I like going to the dentist. Yeah, it's not my favorite thing to endure, but once I've dealt with the scratching and poking, I realize this: this guy (or lady) went to school for so-odd years and is now cleaning, inspecting, or fixing what is, arguably, one of the most important parts of my body.

Sometimes you just gotta suck up the pain a bit and see that in the end, you're going to have cleaner teeth. Less plaque. Filled cavities. Whiter teeth. Fresher breath. Straighter teeth. Less pain. A nice smile :D

Appreciate that hour in the dentist's office. As a college student paying for crappy insurance without a dental plan, I sure miss going there. I'd like a flouride treatment or two and a little high-pressure water scrubbin' in my mouth. And maybe this cavity filled too. Darn you Snickers bars....!

Until I can conjure up the money for a visit, for those of you who can go, enjoy it for me. Then maybe you'll start liking it too.

Lara Croft: The Independent Badass Hero You Should Be

If you asked me who my hero was, I would say, hands down, with absolutely no doubt in my mind, that it was Lara Croft, Tomb Raider extraordinaire. Why? She's independent, smart, sexy, tough, and did I mention intelligent as hell?

I will reference the movies (starring Angelina Jolie) in some of my points. The movies are pretty good and I'm sure I've seen the first one at least ten times. Anyway. Back to Lara.

Lara Croft doesn't need anyone. She uses her own skills and brain power to get what she wants. She'll use sex (appeal, never actually sex) and her insane athletic ability to get out of sticky situations. She'll make a weapon out of just about anything, and can kick ass without one.

She can speak other languages and communicate with whoever she needs to. She does research into the work she does and when she's got a hunch, she will look into it. She won't ask questions, she won't hesitate. She knows what she wants, and she will get it. If someone doesn't like it, she flips her braided hair, kicks in the throttle on her motorcycle, and basically says "Fuck you" as she zooms away to get shit done.

When plans go sour, she's got it on lock. She already has another plan. She works fast and doesn't let anyone hold her back.

Does Lara have a social life in either the films or video games? Not really. Does she care? Nope. She's happy. She knows people, she's got the hookup, she's got her butler and tech guy, and that's all she needs.

And concerning her sex life, she gets what she wants (usually a casual hookup, take for instance in the movies, the most she does is lock lips twice), then lets it go. No strings attached, because she's got better things to do than get involved with someone else.

I want to have that kind of confidence. The kind that says, yeah, I'm doing this, and you can't stop me. I'm happy where I am in life. I know I can get what I want if I worry about me first and concentrate on my goals.

This is why Lara Croft is the best role model. Now, haters may say, she doesn't trust people, she's incapable of truly loving someone. But there's no proof of that. The only thing that's important is that she doesn't need anyone but herself and that she is content with that. How many people can say they're truly happy being alone, and not actively seeking or secretly longing for that true love? Lara has tombs to raid, books to read, things to shoot, places to go, favors to give. If she wants love, she could probably find it. She's as capable as anyone else, but lacks the modern-day desperation and necessity of companionship.

I admire that.

So, my friends, whenever you feel insecure, or scared, or unhappy, or desperate, think, "What would Lara do?"

She'd say, "Fuck those problems. You don't need anyone. You're awesome the way you are. Now go kick some ass and read a book on that thing you've always wanted to learn about."

My idol.

Britney Spears: The Musician You Know Nothing About

Lemme just say. I like Britney Spears' horrible pop music. I bump to Toxic, dance along to Oops I Did It Again, and feel dirty after viewing I'm a Slave 4 U. I also love 3. But really, what have I learned about Britney through her music? Absolutely nothing. Her music may be catchy and poppy but it's got no substance. None whatsoever, and that's really something. The lyrics are generalized and vague, and I think the only song that really seemed to expose some sort of side of her that wasn't screaming "I'm here to f*** around, wooo!" was Sometimes (which was accompanied by an incredibly cute and cheesy music video). I'd even go as far to say that Lucky and Stronger were a little expository on some parts of her character, the first showing that she was growing weary of her superstardom, and the second showing that she had some kind of confidence in herself that wasn't entirely based on how sexy she looked.

I'll probably update this later with quotes and additional commentary. I just had to get this out.

Star Trek RULES!

This is just going to be a short blurb, but I saw the winners for the People's Choice Awards, and lemme just say that Twihards need to STFU. Before I start though, I should mention that I am AMAZED Sandra Bullock beat Kristen Stewart for Favorite Movie Actress. I think it's because all the Twihards can't stand that she gets to be with the beloved Edward and Jacob etc. Girls are bitches.

Anyway. Zoe Saldana should have won for Favorite Breakout Movie Actress (great in Avatar and Star Trek)... okay, I guess I'm getting carried away here. She clearly deserved it when compared to the others in her category (Miley Cyrus won) but this award show is about favorites, which correlates to overall image and less to actual ability/talent. But it angers me. Awards voting should be left to people who have brains and aren't mindless media puppets. However, more elite systems like the Oscars favor low-budget/small, intense dramas and overlook great performances by blockbuster films. Though Twihards and other ridiculous movie machines make it hard to have any faith in where people put their money, some blockbusters really deserve some credit - namely Pirates of the Caribbean, Spider-Man, Star Trek, and Star Wars - and due to their popularity, are left without awards, either deemed too popular and overt by the Academy Awards or overshadowed by retards like the People's Choice Awards (who were only correct in giving the award to Johnny Depp for Favorite Movie Actor). Actually, aside from a few notable comedy category winners, the other winners made me feel sad about the degradation of humanity.

I suppose I'm just upset Twilight beat out Star Trek (which was a great movie, and at the very least Zachary Quinto should have won something) even though the Twilight franchise offers so very little to sentient cinema-goers.

To Teen Parents:

If you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant and a teenager, take some advice I collected from the MTV show Teen Mom.

DO like Catelynn and Tyler and put your baby up for adoption. If you don't have hick parents like Catelynn then you should be able to live your life without too many life-altering bumps.

If you keep your kid, DON'T stay with a guy like this horrible excuse for a dad:

He's lazy, incompetent, and unable to understand the stress he's been putting on Amber. He thinks about himself before Amber and the baby and is too lazy and overweight to do anything about it. I feel sorry for her, but only to a degree - you were irresponsible, and now you and your child must suffer.

DON'T party like Farrah. She has recently acquired birth control, which in a way is good so that she won't become pregnant if she has sex again. But really? She shouldn't be dating in the first place. Her baby is barely a year old, she's working for her education, and she's relying on her parents to help her take care of her baby. I know she wants to try and find a guy who will help her with the baby and satisfy her emotional/sexual needs, but for real. It's too soon, and she can go boy-hunting once she's older, has her degree, and is more stable. Right now, any guys she would be interested in will be turned off by the teen-mom idea and the fact that she can barely support herself. Most teenage guys and young men can barely handle long term relationships let alone becoming a "father" to another man's child. And if any potential suitors have a brain they will be turned off by her selfishness and neglect of her (not even a toddler) child. Farrah should try some self-stimulation for a while before she resumes dating, because it is more than likely that her relationship will be unsuccessful.

To people who think the show glamorizes teenage motherhood - you are mistaken. It does not. Every time I watch the show I thank my lucky stars I am not in any of their situations.

To people who are sexually active, please oh please USE SOME PROTECTION!

Just Tumblr-ing Along

Uhh. I wrote a post, then blogspot deleted it? Whatev.

Now I'm too lazy to retype what I wrote before. So I'll keep it short: I made a complementary tumblr page to the blog. I hope you will find it funny/interesting, though I can't guarantee my commentary will be.

Check it out: http://theblondeprerogative.tumblr.com/

AT&T Commercials, That Dorky Actor, and the Perfect Man

Those new AT&T commercials with Luke Wilson are just horrid. They are trying to connect with the audience by being "chill" and breaking the fourth wall, using Luke Wilson, who now looks as average as they come, making his speech vernacular and having him both break the fourth wall and act as if he doesn't belong in the commercial itself and it just making commentary to the other individuals in the shot.

To me, Luke Wilson just comes off as an asshole. Not only are they direct attacks on Verizon, they are poorly written, the information is deceiving, and Wilson is just a horrible spokesperson. His snide grin and impatient attitude makes me dislike him, and I think before seeing these ads I thought he was a likable guy (thanks, Legally Blonde). I know these are scripted, but even for money, Wilson is just hurting his PR. These commercials are particularly bad: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJvUshkxH-w&NR=1] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHV-6lU8lM8&NR=1]

Next topic. That dorky actor.

Michael Cera - I AM SICK OF SEEING YOUR FACE, ESPECIALLY IN QUIRKY INDIE FLICKS.

Indie Directors - THERE ARE MANY MORE DORKS OUT THERE TO ACT IN YOUR MOVIE. Please stop the Apataw trend of reusing the same actors over and over again. It gets sickening and predictable.

Michael Cera plays the same person in every film. He's the lovable, innocent nerd who's just trying to get some womanly TLC, and ends up going through some adventure (and now, going bad) to try and get said womanly TLC. He will get it.

Please, pick someone else!! And I'm sincerely worried about his portrayal of Scott Pilgrim. Pilgrim, at least in the comics, is a cute and cool guy. Michael Cera is none of the above. Losing faith, here.

In other news, I have found the perfect man. At least in my opinion. Fellow ladies, feast your eyes on Hugh Dancy, the tall, dark, handsome, and BRITISH actor:

CAN HAZ PLZ????