How do some people manage to get together? Even when the relationship seems to defy logic?
First, I will counter any of these claims with the response my friend gave me. They said it was the beautiful thing about love, that it can occur between two people who seem like they wouldn't mix together. I can understand how "opposites" attract, but it's usually because they have many similarities and a few differences that are either very obvious (like style or music taste) or made more obvious through their expressions, like how often they discuss the differences (like political views or life goals etc).
For reference, I will use the names Tara and Jim as my example couple.
Let's say Tara is an introvert who wants to be an artist and Jim is a jock who has NFL dreams. Jim thinks Tara is really cute and mysterious, so he goes and talks to her. On the surface, they don't seem like a likely couple. But after they talk, they find they have similar music tastes, and Tara thinks Jim's sense of humor is on par with Dane Cook, who is her favorite comedian. They like hanging out because their differences, like how Tara loves roller coasters and Jim is scared of heights, combine so that they learn more about each other and themselves. Jim ends up liking roller coasters, and Tara is now interested in football and how the game is played. This is what I call a symbiotic relationship, one in which both parties are happy though they are different and similar to certain degrees. This relationship could last a long period of time, because their characters
Let's meet Kim and Jake. They seem like they'd make a good couple; Kim is stylish and girly, Jake is a band kid. Their social spheres seem to will their union, and they seem happy together. But this relationship can go one of two ways - a long relationship where neither benefits, except maybe physically, but not emotionally or psychologically because their similarities are not strong enough and their differences are too fundamental, or they will break up because one of the two has realized they aren't getting much out of it.
Fundamental differences are more character flaws than a lack of similarities. If Jake is a judgmental asshole, though Kim finds him really attractive his condescending attitude towards her interest in mainstream pop bands will piss her off and she'll bring up how he's always bringing her down. If Kim doesn't understand Jake's love for snowboarding, she may go to his contests and cheer him on the sidelines, but not name any snowboarders besides Jake and Shaun White. Jake hates how Kim likes to party on the weekends, and though she's not hooking up or anything, he doesn't understand why she feels the need to drink and dress like a slut out in public all the time. But Kim deals, and Jake looks it over, glad she's not cheating, but worried about that Facebook photo he saw where she was sitting on her "friend's" lap, looking incredibly drunk and basically half naked. In a way, they don't understand each other; Jake won't socialize with Kim's friends, and Kim tires of Jake's snowboarding jabber. This is a recipe for disaster, though they will simply "get along" and be happy that at least they have each other, until one meets another person who meets the symbiotic complement as referenced with Tara and Jim, or they just feel that they can't handle each other anymore. These realizations could take years, which is probably the part that defies logic, at least in my opinion.
How can people be happy settling for less? How can someone be happy wasting time, energy, and emotion on a relationship they aren't able to really be the best they can be in? Do they see their relationships lasting? If they don't, why do they stay in it? I couldn't do that. That's why I've been so reluctant to date - I don't want to pick just anyone, and I want to be sure I'm not wasting my time.
Sometimes, I just want to wake people up.
