Why I Hate 95% of People

If you are a native English speaker, I'm talking to you.

Almost every day I see multiple grammar rules violated, in addition to some pretty atrocious spelling. I hear a lot of excuses. "But I'm on Facebook, it's casual, it's not important!" "It's just not fair that I'm getting penalized on my spelling and grammar on a paper that's not for English class!" "I'm texting!"

There are some errors that are attributed to typos and many rules that are violated, mainly via texting, as a result of character restraints. Which is cool. Via text or casual writing, I'm less concerned about the placement of commas and apostrophes, and more about general grammar and spelling. For people who mess up due to those reasons, this post is NOT about you.

To the rest of you: what the hell?! You're a native speaker. You have grown up, spoken, read, and been formally educated in English semantics since birth. How do you still not know the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE?

"Okay," you say, "I know the difference between those two words! But they sound the same and people get my meaning when they read it! It's not a big deal!"

WRONG!

If you know the difference and you're only missing one letter to change the word's meaning, why don't you just add the extra letter?

in the example of casual texting or internet usage (which means ignoring apostrophes):
"your dumb!" INCORRECT.
"youre dumb!" CORRECT.
"ur dumb!" CORRECT.

"its better then staying home all day." INCORRECT.
"its better than staying home all day." CORRECT.

"there not coming." INCORRECT.
"theyre not coming." CORRECT.

"when did you loose your keys?" INCORRECT.
"when did you lose your keys?" CORRECT.

"there are many paper's over there." INCORRECT.
"there are many papers over there." CORRECT.

"he play's the piano." INCORRECT.
"he plays the piano." CORRECT.

For further reference, check the Oatmeal: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

I've compiled a collection of infractions of the English language I find on Facebook here: www.erredenglish.tumblr.com

While I've been yammering about simply remembering BASIC English grammar and spelling on the web, most importantly, I urge you all to remember them while writing papers. For any class, for any business, for any occasion that is not related to your friends and personal notes, YOU NEED TO USE PROPER GRAMMAR, SPELLING, AND PUNCTUATION.

Why, you ask? Because to literate people, poor application of those elements of English in your writing DETRACTS from your central message. No matter how good your ideas are, or how much research you did, if you continually force your reader to reread your sentences because you spelt a word incorrectly (that halted the tempo in the reader's head or that looked like another word with a different meaning) or had convoluted grammar and syntax, the reader will soon lose interest in your big ideas. I personally stop reading, or caring, about the contents of paper when I have to shuffle through the pages trying to dig out a clear sentence, and by that time I'm too angry to care about understanding your content.

If I was your teacher: I'D FAIL YOU.

Rebecca Black: Ridiculed Without Reason

You've all heard the song "Friday" and most likely seen the video as well on youtube. In case you haven't, watch this to get up to speed:



Anyway. If you have a normally functioning brain you should be able to realize that lyrically, and just simply musically, the song sucks. Other than the repetitious and catchy chorus of "It's Friday, friday" and the mere fact that it's existence is laughable, you're probably wondering why it's so popular. You probably think Rebecca Black is talentless and auto-tuned, that the song was penned by a five-year old learning the days of the week, and that the video is poorly made, awkward, and unoriginal.

Granted, all of these statements are true. Well, Rebecca Black probably can hold a note, which is more than I can do, but in terms of this song, her vocals are not that good.

But the last thing you should do is criticize the hell out of the poor girl, send her and her awkward dancing friends death requests, or spit any kind of vulgarity to these girls. As I stated before, you can but you probably shouldn't. Here's why.

1. She's 13 years old.
Come on, ridiculing a kid who's video went viral and hit multi-million hits by mere word-of-mouth via the internet? She didn't pay for that kind of promotion, nor create any of the related memes or gifs. People like me gave her that attention because of the ridiculousness of the video and song (and the fact that almost everyone was talking about it or singing the song). Additionally, her parents paid for the project - she wasn't signed for the label on talent, she probably had an interest in singing and the music factory agreed to make her a video (you know, for the giggles and the family's pride 'n joy) for a modest fee and put it on YouTube so her friends would watch it and see how "cool" she was.

2. She's not a famous recording artist.
The general public had no idea who she was until a week ago, let alone that a girl with her name was making any kind of music at all. You can't expect anything this previously unknown girl makes to be good on her first try. See #1 for more details.

3. She's not a recording artist signed to a prominent, credible, serious record label.
The video sucks. But how serious of a music company is this? The video was probably made by a bunch of new, fairly inexperienced filmmakers who are catering to the audience of preteens and under (who like flashy ridiculous things and don't care about bad graphics or quality filming or stories as long as a catchy song with people their age is playing) and who are just trying to learn the extent of the programs they have at their fingertips. They probably didn't count on this video spotting on vh1's top 20 video countdown or even surfacing from the depths of an MTV video forum, but the popularity of the video's bad quality brought it up to the public's attention. Now it has to compare with well-made videos of MTV. I know that there are great videos made for YouTube by fans but again, that's not the audience or standard the company was aiming to comply with.

Cut the girl some slack. She made a video for her and her family and friend's personal enjoyment and for reasons out of her control became extremely famous and, thanks to iTunes (come on people, you can't think of ridiculing the song if you actually shelled out $1.09 to put it in your iTunes library) got a nice sum of money too. If she was signed to a legitimate label not funded by rich parents, had produced a good song before that made her popular, or was at least old enough to drive a damn car, then there would be room to more freely criticize the girl's efforts.

It's the equivalent of having millions of people calling you out on that stupid dubstep "Weasley Is Our King (with rap interlude)" video you haphazardly created with two dirty old mops, colored disco balls, and your fat friend who "claimed" he had coordination, with your friends just because you were bored and then put on YouTube when you got drunk. "Come on bro," you'd say, "It was just a bit of fun!"

So guys, relax.

It's Friday :)

Idols

Yesterday (or the day before?) Kim Kardashian wrote on her blog the following about the MTV show Teen Mom:

'It seems that shows like Teen Mom are all of a sudden making teen pregnancy seem cool in the eyes of young girls...but girls, these are not people you should idolise!'

Orly? I'll attack this argument on two sides: 1. who are you to determine who is famous/idolized? 2. I think the show does the opposite.

So, Kim. Kim, Kimmy, Kimber. You're a celebrity because...
You're famous because...
You've done...
You've helped...
You can...

I'm really drawing a blank here. According to Wikipedia, she got her fame from her reality show, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, which is a show, like most reality shows, about some really rich, overprivileged girls and their daily romps with drama and buying expensive things they don't need. She is also a model, because she's posed nude for Playboy. Ooh. She is famous because of her spoiled and lavish life, and because her daily half-naked twipics keep the boys busy and the girls crying for her bod. Oh, and she was in a pretty popular sex tape.

All very good things to idolize. She is aware, and noted, that she has many young fans. She says she regrets her sex tape but continues to parade around the public dressed like a common party slut. Now, this is of course something that she has the right to do, she can be whoever, but her being willingly put in this kind of spotlight, I can criticize - especially because she's decided to point out to her blog followers/readers - who you could say, like her or look up to her or want to be her (oh, like idolize her) that the show Teen Mom is responsible for boosting teen pregnancies.

Which leads me to the second side of my argument. To anyone who has watched Teen Mom as I have, the show shows life for these girls as it is. Do I want to be them? No. They have lost their freedom and youth for their children; sacrificed their education and have been encouraged, in most cases, to move out, get married, and start careers all before they're old enough to even drink alcohol in public. It's an entire lifetime of milestones done in an incredibly short period of time.

Only an idiot would want their life.

They are not people to idolize, but people to watch and learn from. The intent of the show is to show how hard it is to have a child so young and to discourage viewers to follow their paths.

I know they get paid a large sum for being on the show, and thanks to magazines like US Weekly and the other paparazzi mediums, they are household names and a lot of people know their business outside of the show. Yet on the show, they do not flaunt this money or show how being on the show has affected their daily lives. Thus, the show itself is not responsible for the irresponsibility and downright stupidity of its viewers who get pregnant to imitate what they see on TV or to attain the short lived but always glamorous fame of a paparazzi-stalked teen. It's their parent's fault for raising children who think that by either getting pregnant and put on TV or rising to fame for being talentless and slutty, they will be happy and successful in life.

MTV knows that when they're not helping teens or putting their lives on TV as expository, even educational, programs (like True Life, Made, I Used to Be Fat, Teen Mom, 16 & Pregnant), they also have shows that are for pure entertainment, like Jersey Shore, Disaster Date, The Real World, etc etc. It is not Kim Kardashian's fault that people want to be like her and live her pointless, shallow life, but for her to critique a show that, arguably, has helped teens and other viewers learn about the troubles of raising a child, is ridiculous. Has her show or any modeling/writing/acting that she has done promote anything but being famous for being rich and beautiful? Nope.



Looks like fun... not!

Dignity

A while ago I found out the esteemed cast members of the very popular show Glee did a "wild" photoshoot for GQ. I saw it and was disgusted. While I know my opinion is mute, I was a little saddened when I was talking to some of my friends about how slutty the photos were and how they were obviously doing this for the money. I heard them complain that they were coaxed into wearing next to nothing for the photos, but all the while they still posed for them. Nobody looks forced or unhappy in this:



The brunette, throughout the shoot, is shown with the least amount of clothes, which indicates she's the one with the most to prove.

And it's nothing I haven't seen before. More "tame" celebrities having to bare-all to shed their good image. What's so wrong with a clean image, I don't know, but you don't have to show the world your goodies to get some grown-up respect. As for me, they lose it.

How the hell did a show about high school theater geeks come to be the biggest TV show in America? Well, T&A helps. (That's talent and ambition, you pervs.) But so does a generous helping of pot-laced brownies, girl-on-girl subtext, and choreographed dry-humping.

Gross.

Now, going to my previous post, I don't have to look at these photos. They are adults, they can be naked and that's their right.

Both true statements. Here are my answers: I can look at these photos. They are adults, they can be naked, and it's my right to make any kind of comment I want to about the image they've projected to the public.

This shoot isn't about fashion. It's not about what these actors have accomplished in their careers. It just shows them (well, the girls) tramping around a typical high school setting wearing next-to-nothing, fulfilling a long-played out and thousand times duplicated bad-schoolgirl fantasy. A comment on the GQ page featuring the shoot reads:

GET OVER IT. The whole point of them being ACTORS is that when they go home at the end of the day they're not the same person they pretend to be on screen. When will people learn this? Its refreshing not to see them so angelic and halo adorning. Grow up. The truth is the majority of you idiots think its hot, and you mothers out there - your daughters are going to probably be ten times worse than this, the only difference is at least Rachel and Dianna have their bras and panties on while the pics are being taken. Move on.

Okay. I see your point. But is it really "refreshing" to see them not so angelic and halo adorning because they're half-naked? Stars shedding their clothes for the big time isn't that new, I mean, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Britney Spears, Christina Aguliera, and hundreds more have done it. I think it'd be more refreshing to see them taking a new direction on acting, sharing some intuitive thought, or being productive or generous members of society.

It's not like I need to see any more sexy photos of celebrities on magazines.

My point is, to me, they look like sluts. Come on, people, don't you have anything else to offer?

"LOOK, IT'S MAH CROTCH!"

Because I Can

My 1st Amendment right says that I have freedom of speech (with limits, of course, to copyright laws and threats of violence). This is a right I feel that people don't understand what it really means.

It does not mean that you can only say nice things to people.

It does mean I can say mean things or controversial things without any type of legal repercussion, although the public will hold my words.

What I'm getting at is, I come across tons of Youtube videos, blogs, and memes whose contents trigger long forum debates and angry, unnecessary arguing and insults that basically boil down to these fundamental question:

If you don't like it [the video, the post, the content being discussed in the video/post/photo/etc.], why are you reading/watching/looking at it?

If you don't like it, why don't you keep your negative opinions to yourself?

The answer is simple: Because I can. Because I have the freedom to watch these videos or read these blogs at my whim, and whether I'm praising or criticizing it, if there is a forum or comment section, I have the right to make any comments I wish about it, even if they are unreasonable or ill-informed. If you make it available for viewing on a medium that caters to the general public, you have to be ready to eat the criticism, because like it or not, people are gonna give it, and even if their criticism is false, illogical, or stupid, you can't tell them to leave the forum. You made it public!

I'd like to quote from one of my favorite tumblrs. The author of the tumblr Reasoning With Vampires does grammatical and satirical criticism of Stephenie Meyer's horrendous "novels" called the Twilight series. I'm sure you're all familiar with them. Anyway, her tumblr is brilliant, and she obviously gets a lot of flack from Twihards and other angry people. Her FAQ features some of their complaints:

IF YOU DON’T LIKE TWILIGHT, YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT.
Touché. Got me there. While I reflect on that astute observation, you might consider that if you don’t like my tumblog, you don’t have to read it. (Oh, what now?)

To all the people sore about comments made, remember this:



In subsequent or even preceding posts, I may be mean to people and criticize their actions. You can tell me no, get a life, you can't judge them, that's their life. But when these people make it public, whether that be on TV, in music, through the Internet, or in movies, it's fair game. I can say what I want.

It's my prerogative.

To the Kind People of the Interwebz

I promise I'll be posting more regularly! Shew.

Anyway, I wanted to ring in the new year by saying "Thank you" to all of those kind people of the internet who help me every day, from when I google questions about my ridiculous eye health, read a huge 50+ page long walkthrough to help me get past a monster in Resident Evil 4, to when I've procrastinated (as usual) on an assignment and need a book summary and symbol analysis via Wikipedia.

Most of all, I appreciate the many millions of meme creators, the people who make me smile when I feel down, or am too awake to sleep but too tired to focus on reading anything legit and instead peruse Knowyourmeme.com and my favorite Twilight Sucks tumblrs.

During one of my excruciatingly boring classes last semester, I was trolling the web and found a gem called "Sad Keanu".


I could barely contain my laughter, and after I found even more, I actually burst and nearly choked, and covered my sobs of laughter with coughing noises.

Then after laughing my poor lungs to death I found its counterpart, "Happy Keanu".



With things like this floating on the internet, how could anyone be depressed??

Everything from great YouTube videos (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYpwAtnywTk) to huge databases of guitar, bass, drum, and piano tabs like ultimateguitar.com; from the Lara Croft cosplay sites with links to costume accessories and how-tos on making your own to the 1,280,000,000 (literally) google search results for "how-to"; from the memes on 4chan to the insane clips featured on tosh.o and original videos by Collegehumor (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyTSOCnr2Rw)... everything you need and more is at your fingertips on the internet.

Sites like Mediafire (I LOVE YOU!!!) and the various torrent engines like ThePirateBay and isohunt allow anyone to obtain mp3s, m4as, audiobooks, pdf books, Kindle books, movies, television shows, and anything else in digital format. FOR FREE.

I can take any Youtube mp3 or video using a conversion site I just google for. FOR FREE.

I can listen new music tuned to my tastes on Pandora. For FREE.

I network with all of my friends on Facebook. For FREE.

I watch my favorite J-drama on mysoju.com FOR FREE.

I could go on for days with all the things I can do on the internet. The only thing it can't do is feed me, and I figure that one day that will change as well.

These people labor over walkthroughs, organizing all of the details and writing sequentially, making extensive lists and even FAQs; they compress files and risk life and liberty getting bootlegs of movies and other copyrighted materials so that they can not only use them personally but to make them available to everyone else in the world with internet access. They could keep their swag to themselves, but they take time and risk being tracked down to disperse their goodies with me. FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My questions to you are, what have you contributed to the internet today?

Have you thanked those anonymous, unpaid (even if they are paid, you're not paying them) miracle workers who give you your daily fix of humor, knowledge, and support whenever you need it?

If you haven't, I suggest you do it now.

THANK YOU KIND PEOPLE OF THE INTERWEBZ.

A final meme for you all:



Happy New Year!

The Dentist Is Your Friend

I know, I know. "Dentists are NOT my friends!" you're probably yelling angrily at the screen. They scratch at your teeth, yank on things rooted in your gums, they force you to fill your mouth with gross flouride and other dental delicacies, poke at your tongue, and sometimes even drill holes in your teeth. More often than not, they're pushing your teeth together by stretching a metal rod across your teeth with rubber bands. And you can't take it off for years. And you need them tightened frequently.

So it's only natural that you should hate going to the dentist. It often hurts and no one likes that nails-on-chalkboard-but-actually-on-my-teeth sound.

However, I like going to the dentist. Yeah, it's not my favorite thing to endure, but once I've dealt with the scratching and poking, I realize this: this guy (or lady) went to school for so-odd years and is now cleaning, inspecting, or fixing what is, arguably, one of the most important parts of my body.

Sometimes you just gotta suck up the pain a bit and see that in the end, you're going to have cleaner teeth. Less plaque. Filled cavities. Whiter teeth. Fresher breath. Straighter teeth. Less pain. A nice smile :D

Appreciate that hour in the dentist's office. As a college student paying for crappy insurance without a dental plan, I sure miss going there. I'd like a flouride treatment or two and a little high-pressure water scrubbin' in my mouth. And maybe this cavity filled too. Darn you Snickers bars....!

Until I can conjure up the money for a visit, for those of you who can go, enjoy it for me. Then maybe you'll start liking it too.